\"What Would Brian Boitano Do?\" is a song from the 1999 film South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut written by South Park co-creator Trey Parker and composer Marc Shaiman. In the song, Olympic and professional figure skater Brian Boitano is treated lyrically as a superhero in a series of increasingly ludicrous situations. The title of the absurdist song is a parody of the evangelical Christian motto \"What Would Jesus Do?\"
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